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  • 9 New Paperbacks You Won't Be Able To Put Down Because Of All The Glue. Tabs, Tues., Aug. 3, 2021
    on August 3, 2021

    Gunther Hashida is the third police officer to take his life after facing off against Donald Trump's mob during the January 6 Capitol attack. President Law and Order will likely never say his name. (The Daily Beast)Shortly after scheduling this post, Kyle DeFreytag became the fourth officer at the […]

  • Mike Flynn's Brother Cured His Covid With Horse Pills, America Is Canceled
    on August 2, 2021

    Sure, we all know Michael Flynn is a raging idiot. But have you met his family? No? Hey, SPOILER ALERT, they are also idiots too. Like, really, really fucking stupid. Friends, meet Joseph Flynn, one of the retired general's many siblings. Here he is with Flynn taking the QAnon oath -- or just […]

  • Why Is Matt Yglesias?
    on August 2, 2021

    In an interview this weekend with The Sunday Times, Matt Damon, a 50-year-old adult man, revealed that he just very recently learned, from his daughter, that it's not okay to use the gay slur "f-----t.". In the year 2021. While the reaction from most people online was shock that it had taken this […]

  • Democracy Probably F*cked, Thanks to Supreme Leader Joe Manchin
    on August 2, 2021

    Joe Manchin is very bad at politics and history. Ever since Democrats won the Senate, we've been in the awkward position of simultaneously being the "majority" while not having enough to power to make sweeping changes without fixing/eliminating the filibuster. Also, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer […]

  • It’s Monday, So It Must Actually Be Joe Biden’s Infrastructure Week!
    on August 2, 2021

    The Senate completed work on the $1 trillion bipartisan infrastructure deal Sunday, and everyone's thrilled about its bipartisanship. Majority Leader Chuck Schumer boasted, "We haven't done a large, bipartisan bill of this nature in a long time," and Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema from Arizona […]

  • Anti-Vaxxers Denied Opportunity To Find True Love Among The Equally Deluded
    on August 2, 2021

    Bad news for people who were hoping for a little romance before dying of COVID: the Apple store gave the boot to anti-vaxx dating app "Unjected" this weekend. The app, which users on the Google Play site have described as "useless," "painfully glitchy," "terrible," and "cold dogshit" -- and that's […]

  • Go Go Gadget Monday White House Press Briefing!
    on August 2, 2021

    Watch it so that you may know things: Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter.Don't you like not having to search YouTube for the White House briefing, when you know you can just watch it at Wonkette? Throw a few bucks in our direction if so!How often would you like to donate? Just once Monthly […]

  • GOP Gov. Ron DeSantis Heroically Leading Florida To COVID-19 Disaster
    on August 2, 2021

    Florida is a deeply red state, not just politically but as a COVID-19 hotspot. Florida represents about 6.5 percent of the US population, but accounts for 21 percent of new COVID-19 cases. The state now leads the nation in per capita hospitalizations for COVID-19. There were almost 10,000 reported […]

  • ISIS On GETTR? Who Could Have Predicted This Shocking Turn Of Events?
    on August 2, 2021

    It's not funny, but it is hilarious.Politico is out with a story this morning that Number One Trump Humper Jason Miller's knockoff Twitter site GETTR is currently overrun with ISIS propaganda, including videos of beheadings. Reporters Mark Scott and Tina Nguyen write that the site "features reams […]

  • Mark Meadows And Delusional Former President Hold Very Serious Make-Believe 'Cabinet Meetings'
    on August 2, 2021

    Last week, we learned that Donald Trump pressured the Department of Justice to falsely declare the 2020 presidential election “corrupt" as part of his increasingly desperate and unhinged coup attempt. The DOJ, now under new management, also announced that the House of Representatives has a […]

  • Demons And Crack Forcing Us To Believe Biden Won Election, Says Totally Normal Christian Preacher
    on August 2, 2021

    When last we met Pastor Greg Locke, he was telling us all about the normal things he believes, like how Joe Biden is possessed by a demon and Tom Hanks and Oprah are operating a child sex trafficking ring through tunnels that are underneath the White House. But those are not the only extremely […]

  • Kevin McCarthy Publicly Fantasizes About Hitting Nancy Pelosi, Who’d Kick His Ass For Real
    on August 2, 2021

    House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has consistently outclassed and outmaneuvered GOP Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who she may or may not have called a “moron." He was still stinging from his horrible, no good week Saturday night when he lashed out at Pelosi the same way all weak men do, with threats […]

  • Halp! Halp! No But Really, Halp.
    on August 2, 2021

    Hi all, payroll's due and I'm how much under? Just about most of it, Katie. Our operating expense account dwindled down badly the past few months when I was writing muted, gentle moneybegs because February was a really good month and I am incapable of caterwauling too loudly for more of your money […]

  • We Listed The Most Beautiful Women In The World, Do You Know #1? Tabs, Mon., Aug. 2, 2021
    on August 2, 2021

    Hey remember that St. Louis meeting where they whooped and hollered when the County Council overrode the mayor's mask mandate? COVID was in attendance. (CNN)Nobody's right all the time, and some unions been showing their ass on vaccine mandates. — Lawyers Guns & MoneyOkay, but even less right […]

  • Giuliani Witness Mellissa Carone Is Back And Very Concerned About Dead Baby Parts
    on August 1, 2021

    Remember Mellissa Carone, the definitely-not-drunk witness Rudy Giuliani trotted out while trying to prove that voter fraud happened in Michigan? Who was definitely not lying about 10,000 ballots being secretly shipped in through food trucks because she, like, signed an affidavit and you can't do […]